~ Freaqky Girl ~

dear bloggers,

i hate to say it but IT BEEN A WHILE AGAIN. haha seems i like collecting dust on my blog. it has been ages since i've written a post. now that i'm like 'this', i wanted to write something. just so i can get it off my chest.

well, my freshmen year as a university girl, i thought it would be the highlight of my life. it seems so for the first half. things have been happening ever since i joined this kolej. i admit at first i was scared but slowly, things went on normally until one of my wing-mate found out something they shouldn't have known. and we kinda broke off the friendship just like that. i got so stressed out thinking bout them because i'd still had 2 and half years left to cope with them. and as things moved on, i finally got over them. things was starting to brighten up. then my 2nd year came up.

well, the 2nd year started off with a bang. like i'd suddenly have to do things, get involved into things. this is because i'd just landed on a job that i have to do it for the kolej. next thing i knew, i was busy all the time. every night is another meeting. well, i thought to myself again that i wouldn't have to lose any friends this time around. but my hope gone out too soon and this time, it was really my fault. i admit that i am the one at fault and i truly am sorry bout it. turns out it wasn't good enough and i ended up losing most of my friends. sure i have other friends at my faculty but it didn't matter once i stepped into kolej again. what was i supposed to do? living here become a lot stress and unbearable. and i just want to end my degree as soon as i can. because i cant take it anymore. i want to run away but i can't.. i'm still tied up to this kolej. my university life.. i've ruined it. i don't know what i have done that its until.. like i'm don't even cared to other people.

i'm still here guys?! can;t you see me anymore? was i that invisible to you? not even worth to find me if i had problems? is it my fault that i'm like this? maybe so.. and i hope my final year would be better off if i would just slowly disappear. no one would care. because i'm no value to them. why would anyone cared bout me? i'm nobody now.

and could only pray that i will be strong enough to hold out for my final year. wish me the best of luck? i could only hope so. thanks for reading this. it kinda feels better like this. that i've written what i would feel like. what life.. what university life has done to me..its been great.. for while. well.. thank u again. hope to see u soon.

written by
PNAS4EVA

hey guys and girls,

things have been pretty rough lately. sheila xsgke akan jadi cmnie. nape perlu kite gaduh? nape perlu kite jadi cmnie.? sheila rase sume blaku ats sbb slh faham je.. sheila cube utk memperbetulkan keadaan tp mlg nyer sheila xbdaya.. apa ptut sheila buat spaya sume baik semula? sheila xmenyebelahi sesiapa. from experience, i know it hurts so much as we try hard to not hurt other people's feelings while ours were being trampled, crushed and also broke into millions of pieces. I know it so well. I've known it until now. even now it is being hurt here and there. But i know now, even if my feelings get trampled and being tempered with, i would just let it slide. i know its stupid. yes it is. but that is just me. that is my way of blinding myself to not look into it too much so that it would hurt less. because i know, someday, there will be happiness awaiting for us.. for we do not know what is there to come. what is or has been written for us.

i guess that's how life is.it sometimes knocks you down so hard that you will have to find and gather all your strength to get back up. i'm not saying i'm strong. i'm weak. very weak. from my point of view, i can see that many other people are stronger than me. so please. don't beat yourselves up. there is no benefit in going on like this. we are never alone. each and every one of us, has somebody. even you guys out there. if you ever need somebody, you know that i'll always be there for you. and you should be happy with what you have right now. good ones. bad ones. all of that can make us stronger each time we are tested.

i know i have no right to say any of this to you. but i just wanted you to know

written by